The amount and significance of influence you have can affect just about every aspect of your life, from your career and social standing to even your personal happiness and love life. It’s not that we need to feel in control of everything and everyone, nor should we want to. But, knowing the right techniques to handle situations and influence others can give you the freedom and control to live life to the fullest.
When we talk of influencing people, it often comes with a negative association. That negativity is vastly misplaced. Influence is surely power, but it’s how you use it that determines if it’s for good or for manipulative purposes. Some people seem to adapt social skills and perceptive cues naturally to understand how to handle every situation best. Others need a few tips and techniques to make everyday situations easier to handle.
Want better ways to handle common issues? Looking for more power over your destiny? Refer to the following tips of how to influence people to get the life that you want and very much deserve.
Some people become so good at lying that it becomes second nature to them. Interestingly, we all average over 10 white lies a day. But, when it comes to more serious issues, or you have reason for concern, use this simple trick to verify the truth behind any story. Keep in mind that liars often leave gaps in stories making them abstract. When you want the truth, ask a question that brings up a detail that could be conceivable, but you know isn't true. Lairs will go along with the false evidence, whereas those telling the truth will correct the inaccuracy. Also, look for response cues that could help you determine a truth-teller from a liar. When confronted with a question about a false story, liars will often hesitate and attempt to change the subject matter.
Explaining even the most complex idea or concept is made easier when you approach it the right way. First, start with an overview of what you are about to present. Doing so sets the context, which makes your ideas more easily understable and relatable. Next, raise your expectations. Instead of expecting the idea to be difficult to relay and explain, expect others to understand. Using the law of expectation, which dictates that others like to do what they think is expected of them, will greatly increase the odds that your idea are properly understood with little hassle.
Getting others to take your advice isn't always easy to do. You don't want to come off as a know-it-all, but you want to convince them to get on the same page as you. Three psychological factors come into play: emotions, strategy, and consequences. Numerous studies confirm that persuasion relies on an appeal to someone's emotions. In fact, 90% of decisions we make are based on emotions. To persuade people, translate your facts and logic into an emotion-based statement that gives clear and specific benefits that will appeal to an individual's emotions. Make sure to backup your advice with a specific game plan. Doing so makes it more difficult for another to come up with hypothetical rebuttals. Finally, finish off your piece of advice with clear, positive consequences, stating how your advice will most certainly benefit the listener.
Being the odd one out or the one with an opposing viewpoint can be nerve-wracking at first, but once you apply some simple psychological rules, you can easily win others over. Stay consistent in your viewpoint, without being stubborn. Don't wish-wash in your stance disagreement but do acknowledge and at least appear to consider new information when presented. Next make your move to persuade by dividing and conquering. Studies show we are more likely to stick to our guns when we have an ally. The best way to sway others who are against your viewpoint is one by one in order to diminish any sense of majority rule. Likeability is also key, and much more important than you may think. Staying friendly and specifically stating that your viewpoint is in the best interest of others (showing care, which is attractive) is essentially to getting your way. Finally, present new angles to a situation and back them up with social proof - giving examples of others who have taken your viewpoint and had success.
To be taken seriously as a leader, whether in your group of friends or your career, you need to focus on your followers. Successful leaders identify with followers and sincerely make others feel important and special. (And thus followers like to feel good about themselves and continue to follow.) To develop powerful leadership skills have a clear, simple vision for yourself and any plans you suggest. Also, remember to keep your ego in check. Humility is important as a strong ego creates a separation between you and your followers. Also don't confuse passion with authority - yelling will get you nowhere and lower other's respect for you. Finally, remember it's okay to ask for input, which again makes followers feel important and influential.
Attraction is something unique to each individual, but there's also a science behind it. To get anyone to find you more attractive apply a few simple tricks. First, engage in an activity that is highly emotionally-arousing - anything from a traumatic event to a roller coaster works wonders. Also, increase how youthful you appear by monitoring your posture and walking style - both which can be a major turn off if performed poorly. Next look into her eyes as much as possible without being creepy - mostly when speaking or listening. This simple act is scientifically proven to aid in the development of feelings. Other tricks include approaching her when she's less confident to make yourself appear more attractive (we feel more attracted to others when we feel self-conscious) and once you know she's into you, deepen the attraction by letting her know you feel the same.
The people who seem to win at everything, aren't always better; just smarter. To increase your odds of winning at any competition follow a few simple guidelines that are proven to help you come out victorious. First of all, always try to get the home court advantage. Competing on your terrain helps you associate a victory and a feeling of power with the recognized and comfortable stimulus. Make sure your mindset is in the right state: Never act out of fear and focus only on the outcome, not on yourself, which will put you in an ideal state. Always have a plan B - Being prepared in such a way allows you to always move forward. Finally, do the unexpected and act without warning. Doing so takes you out of a predictable pattern and throws your competitor off.
Detectives do it all the time, but most people don't know how easy it can be to get others to fess up and confide in you. The trick is to follow a series of steps to instill trust and extract honesty. To build trust, tell the other person a secret; this makes him or her feel psychologically closer to you. It also activates the Law of Reciprocation, in which others, feel the need to do for you what you did for them. Next ask a general question about views on a broad topic, and acknowledge the response to build a shelter of trust and understanding. Next, broach the topic of discussion by asking how the person feels about the situation, not about the situation itself. This will open the floodgates to an honest reaction to the situation and allow for further discussion on the topic. Throughout the entire process remember to remain unjudgemental in your words, look, and body language, and if possible, offer a benefit to confiding in you.
To get anyone to see you as more valuable, place higher value on yourself and portray it through manipulating the most powerful psychological factors: price and availability. Remember if you don't place a value on your services, someone else will. Beat them to the chase by asking for more than you normally would have. (This trick is often used in department stores where you see an outfit and sort of like it. But, once you see a high price tag on it, you'll instantly perceive it to be more valuable.) Also, play with the trick of scarcity. The more scarce something is - think diamonds for example - higher value we give it.